Why do I want to loose weight?

How many times have we wanted to loose weight for the wrong reason, only to regain it back? I decided before I start loosing weight I need to look at why I am doing this. I have been on that "yo yo cycle" for so long. It is once and for all time to end. I thought two years ago I accomplished that, yet after I moved I slacked off my food and exercising and regained all of it back. I am so mad at myself and know I have no one to blame but myself. I let myself go thinking...these people don't know me, they don't care what size I am. I think about my old ward and I had so many people watching me and wondered what I was doing. It is even now that I am embarrassed to see this friends from my old ward. I don't want them to see me as a human being who has faults and make mistakes. I remember being told as a child that I was fat. I look at pictures from back then and I wasn't fat at all. I had a lovely body with a wonderful figure, yet those words stayed with me though out all these years and I became that "fat" person.

Well I am not that "fat" person. When I think of myself I feel thin and beautiful yet I look in the mirror and wonder who is that person staring back at me?

I love food and this is another reason I am overweight, well I am here to tell you that I am sick of food. Nothing really looks good or taste good. Food is a big waste of time (I know we need it). There is so many important things I can do besides eat. I am hoping I am at a place in my life where I eat to live and not live to eat.

I am tired of feeling fat. Of not being able to tie my shoes, go up and down the stairs without being out of breath, having problems getting in and out of cars, up and down from chairs, couches,etc. Not being able to wear cute clothes. I have a picture of me two years ago. I was about 15 lbs from my goal and I love the way I was looking. Still I had the belly yet I will take that belly over this one any day.

I am going to take small steps and work on those until they become a habit. I want a new body. One for me and no one else, not friends, or even strangers (wondering what they think of me), not one for my kids or husband. I need to do this for me, for my health, self-esteem, etc. I hope I can have a new body and a new mind, yet I know I will have to work on it. I am doing this blog to hopefully gain support and if you want a new mind and/or body I will be here for you. I was going to log in my weight once a week, yet I don't care what weight I am at. I will do the things I know are right for taking care of my body and judge my clothes and how they fit and how I feel. I will not be a slave to the scale!!

My small baby steps are to:

Drink 32ozs of water each day. I will be cleansing out my body from all the junk I have eaten these last few months.